Here’s some quick advice for you:
- Talk about it. With each other and with others you can trust, (parent, family member, teacher, councillor, NPC). Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases your stress. She’s looking to you for support because there aren’t many people she can confide in right now.
- Stay calm. She needs your support now more than ever. Regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
- Get all the facts. Do youreallyknow what your options are in this situation? Make a confidential appointment with the Norfolk Pregnancy & Family Resource Centre for you and your partner to get the facts and ask your questions.
- Be honest. Feeling angry, frustrated, or scared? That’s normal. Lots of couples experience a “surprise pregnancy” and immediately begin to worry. When women hear men say “It’s up to you,” they will often think he means she should have an abortion. Say what you mean.
- Don’t bail. Don’t just look for a quick fix. The more you run, the harder it is – both now and down the road.
- Don’t pressure her. You two will do best working together as a team.
- Don’t play the blame game. This isn’t the time to overreact or get mad about having sex together.
- Don’t rush. There is no rush to make this decision. You don’t want to have significant regrets in the future. Remember that abortion is not a “quick fix.” There will be emotional repercussions for both of you and possible physical problems for her.
- Don’t forget… You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to her. Ask her to listen to you.
How Can You Help Right Now?
- Confirm the pregnancy. The Norfolk Pregnancy & Family Resource Centre (NPC) offers free, confidential, self administered pregnancy tests.
- Help her look at the information available on all the options. NPC can assist you in exploring your options. You can call or email us to book an appointment for you to come in together. Contact us now.
- Share the responsibility to choose. Your first instinct might be to say, “Whatever you choose, I’ll support you”. This sounds positive but she might think that means: “The decision is yours. I don’t want to take responsibility.” Not many women want to make this choice without the support of their partner.
- Ask her for some time to think, but reassure her that you aren’t going to abandon her. Even in the best of circumstances a pregnancy is scary.
- You don’t need to make a rushed decision. None of us make good decisions when we’re not thinking straight. Take some time to figure this out. Then make a joint decision you can all live with.
Contact NPC 519-428-2177 or firstname.lastname@example.org
- Need help with parenting?
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or have been where you are now?
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call, email, or drop in to get answers and the support you need.